YORKSHIRE may never look the same to me.
As Christmas loomed I viewed it looking down the bonnet of a Rolls Royce Phantom – and that’s the kind of experience that can change your perspective on any part of the planet.
Somewhere in the middle distance the Spirit of Ecstasy winged her way elegantly through traffic heading up what is undoubtedly the most dramatic large saloon in the world – all six-metres and 2.55 tonnes of it.
Perched behind the slender three-spoke wheel I sat – 1.7 metres tall and tipping the scales at 68kg. Not much of a comparison I know, but statistics apart the £271,000 Phantom with its 453bhp 6749cc V12 and sumptuous interior made me feel entirely at home as if we were meant to be together.
The “best car in the world”? Frankly, no.
The Phantom is certainly up there with the very best but I’ve driven more engaging large cars that are more subtle with their presence and easier to park.
But there’s a lot more to this BMW-owned British icon than driving. It’s a culture thing.
When you buy a modern Rolls Royce it’s not necessarily for driving pleasure – it’s for everything else: the car’s design, its undeniable build quality, its outstanding attention to detail and, for its passengers, its unmatched comfort.
In car terms it’s rather simple. It has all the functions of a modern mass-production luxury vehicle – the difference is it’s all designed to make life easy for the pilot.
There’s no challenge from complex dashboard switchgear, no complicated instrumentation to find your way around and no irritating array of warning lights and buzzers to spoil your day.
Driving the rear-drive Phantom is a serene experience where you "make progress" rather than travel.
The whispering V12, much of it pure BMW, is virtually silent – so silent it highlights other noises that in most cars would be regarded as the height of refinement.
And no, that does not mean the "tick" of a clock – that is silent. It’s wind noise. Up to 60mph Phantom progress is accompanied by gentle vibrations from "somewhere outside" that are like distant tremors. It’s eerily silent and the world beyond that flightdeck bonnet and winged mascot simply wafts past.
But slide over 60mph and, horror of horrors, there is a murmur from beyond the thick side glass.
It’s nothing much, nothing to get excited about, but there it is – a gentle wash and buffet as the slipstream contorts itself round the large door mirror.
It’s very minor, but that soft rush and the fact that I was probably averaging just 13mpg on the urban cycle, was enough to persuade me to settle back to a more congenial sub-60mph.
There are four Phantoms in the range – my standard model, an extended wheelbase version with an extra 10 inches grafted into the rear passenger area, the Phantom Coupe launched last year and the most elegant version – the Drophead Coupe.
The lengthened Phantom costs £320,000 – that’s £5000 an inch. The rather ugly Coupe which I also drove, will set you back £297,000, and the special Drophead Coupe a cool £315,250.
Ugly Coupe? I think so. It seems out of proportion.
The sloping satin-finish grille looks grotesque, the spacious cabin seems set too far back on the chassis and the two huge rear-hinged doors need electric motors to close them.
Worse, the 155mph Coupe was not nearly so good to drive as the saloon – unwieldy and fidgety over uneven surfaces on its massive 21-inch alloys.
That’s why I decided to spend my time behind the wheel of the magnificent saloon.
With its rear-hinged back seat passenger compartment doors and conventional forward-hinged front doors it is an amazingly comfortable work of automotive art.
The driving position is commanding, the seating far better than the Coupe and the fit and finish of leather, lacquered wood and soft push/pull chromed levers and buttons for a variety of functions, including ventilation, so smooth and well executed that I was constantly reminded I was driving something very special indeed.
No rev counter here – just a "power reserve" dial that gives what’s left under your right foot as a percentage.
It’s easy to be in awe of a car like the Phantom. It’s oppressively large outside, stands over 1.6 metres tall and, no matter how gentle you are, won’t cover any more than between 18 and 25 of the Queen’s miles on a gallon of petrol.
But for all its excess, for all that we might think about the 1212 people who shelled out an average £300,000 to buy one of the four-model Phantom family last year, the Phantom is an outstanding car.
If you are at the top of your industry, a head of state or an overpaid footballer or celebrity with more cash than conscience, a Phantom is probably still the ultimate symbol of success.
The cliff-like grille and small piggy eyed headlamps are not easy to ignore and it’s a car that’s so imposing that where the average driver will happily block or baulk a BMW M5, a Porsche 911 or a Nissan GT-R, I found the presence of a Phantom seems to trigger a mixture of obsequious compliance to the rules of the road and humility from other drivers.
Nobody, but nobody, stood in the way of my "progress" at junctions, roundabouts or as I went to overtake.
There is something majestic about this car – from the two umbrellas that retract into tubes set in the rear doors right down to its "weighted" chrome wheel centres that ensure the large "RR" logos are always upright.
It may be a juggernaut of a car, it may also be German-owned, but the Rolls Royce Phantom is something we should celebrate. A final bastion of automotive extravagance that is well enough assembled at its modern new factory, a stone’s throw from Goodwood near Chichester, to justify its colossal price tag.
It’s the kind of car many of us would secretly like to find stuffed into our Christmas stocking – sadly though, it’s far too big for that kind of commercial unpleasantness.
Rating: 8/10
FINAL THOUGHT: There is still something gloriously British about the Rolls Royce flagship. The Phantom is a huge car with an impeccable finish and eye-opening technology. It’s not pretty and I doubt if many of us would relish having one in our driveways, but if you want to impress “Johnny Foreigner” the Phantom’s the car for the job.
Rolls Royce Phantom Saloon
Price: £271,000